Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
