$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
