Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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