yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize