Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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