The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize