Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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