Can i not drive my cunt home
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
