You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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