I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
