you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
