i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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