the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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