omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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