So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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