are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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