Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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