he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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