it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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