I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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