2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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