Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
