last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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