I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
