He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
