No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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