He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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