Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize