just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I pour the whiskey from now on
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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