suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
tell me about the fingering
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