On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it glows. i had to have it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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