FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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