yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
