Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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