I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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