And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
