And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
