oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
