69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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