Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
