As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
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Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
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The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize