i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
