i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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