and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
