sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
