there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
