Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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