toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
