Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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