Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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