awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize