your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
