so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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