Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
where am i from again
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
