He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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