she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
