It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
