this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
