he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
