just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
