My cat gives me a boner
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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