I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
