My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
