Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
