May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Someone shattered a urinal.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
