I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
