Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
