There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
