hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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